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I apologise for the length of this but when I read it I really couldn't believe it ,, these are snippets from actual court records, and yes the Lawyers invlolved were all qualified, though what in still remains to be seen !
- Lawyer: "Was that the same nose you broke as a child?"
- Witness: "I only have one, you know."
- Lawyer: "Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?"
- Witness: "By death."
- Lawyer: "And by whose death was it terminated?"
- Accused, Defending His Own Case: "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?"
The defendant was found guilty and sentenced to ten years in jail.
- Lawyer: "What is your date of birth?"
- Witness: "July 15th."
- Lawyer: "What year?"
- Witness: "Every year."
- Lawyer: "Can you tell us what was stolen from your house?"
- Witness: "There was a rifle that belonged to my father that was stolen from the hall closet."
- Lawyer: "Can you identify the rifle?"
- Witness: "Yes. There was something written on the side of it."
- Lawyer: "And what did the writing say?"
- Witness: "'Winchester'!"
- Lawyer: "What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?"
- Witness: "Gucci sweats and Reeboks."
- Lawyer: "Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like?"
- Witness: "No. He was wearing a mask."
- Lawyer: "What was he wearing under the mask?"
- Witness: "Er...his face."
- Lawyer: "This myasthenia gravis -- does it affect your memory at all?"
- Witness: "Yes."
- Lawyer: "And in what ways does it affect your memory?"
- Witness: "I forget."
- Lawyer: "You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?"
- Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
- Witness: "No."
- Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
- Witness: "No."
- Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
- Witness: "No."
- Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
- Witness: "No."
- Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
- Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
- Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
- Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."
- Lawyer: "How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?"
- Lawyer: "And you check your radar unit frequently?"
- Officer: "Yes, I do."
- Lawyer: "And was your radar unit functioning correctly at the time you had the plaintiff on radar?"
- Officer: "Yes, it was malfunctioning correctly."
- Lawyer: "What happened then?"
- Witness: "He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because you can identify me.'"
- Lawyer: "Did he kill you?"
- Witness: "No."
- Lawyer: "Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--"
- Witness: "Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment."
- Lawyer: "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"
- Lawyer: "So you were gone until you returned?"
- Lawyer: "The youngest son, the 20 year old, how old is he?"
- Lawyer: "Were you alone or by yourself?"
- Lawyer: "How long have you been a French Canadian?"
- Witness: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
- Lawyer: "Was this a male or a female?"
- Lawyer: "Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?"
- Witness: "I went to Europe, sir."
- Lawyer: "And you took your new wife?"
- Lawyer: "I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture."
- Witness: "That's me."
- Lawyer: "Were you present when that picture was taken?"
- Lawyer: "Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?"
- Lawyer: "Do you know how far pregnant you are now?"
- Witness: "I'll be three months on November 8."
- Lawyer: "Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?"
- Witness: "Yes."
- Lawyer: "What were you doing at that time?"
- Lawyer: "How many times have you committed suicide?"
- Witness: "Four times."
- Lawyer: "Do you have any children or anything of that kind?"
- Lawyer: "She had three children, right?"
- Witness: "Yes."
- Lawyer: "How many were boys?"
- Witness: "None."
- Lawyer: "Were there girls?"
- Lawyer: "You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it looked like, but can you describe it?"
- Lawyer: "You say that the stairs went down to the basement?"
- Witness: "Yes."
- Lawyer: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"
- Lawyer: "Have you lived in this town all your life?"
- Witness: "Not yet."
- Lawyer: (realizing he was on the verge of asking a stupid question) "Your Honor, I'd like to strike the next question."
- Lawyer: "Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body of Mr. Eddington at the Rose Chapel?"
- Witness: "It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 8:30pm."
- Lawyer: "And Mr. Eddington was dead at the time, is that correct?"
- Lawyer: "What is your brother-in-law's name?"
- Witness: "Borofkin."
- Lawyer: "What's his first name?"
- Witness: "I can't remember."
- Lawyer: "He's been your brother-in-law for years, and you can't remember his first name?"
- Witness: "No. I tell you, I'm too excited." (rising and pointing to his brother-in-law) "Nathan, for heaven's sake, tell them your first name!"
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