Sarcastic Quotes of the Famous

Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.
- Ashleigh Brilliant


» It's always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black.
- Paul Newman

» I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here.
- Stephen Bishop

» History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.
- Abba Eban

» No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.
» I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
» I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
» I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
» I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
- Groucho Marx

» The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.
- Frank Zappa

» The 100% American is 99% idiot.
» The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.
- George Bernard Shaw

» He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
» Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
- Oscar Wilde

» He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.
- Victor Borge

» I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
» Honesty is the best policy -- when there is money in it.
» Familiarity breeds contempt -- and children.
» Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself..
- Mark Twain

» I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.
- Clarence Darrow

» If you ever become a mother, can I have one of the puppies?
- Charles Pierce

» You have delighted us long enough.
- Jane Austen

» A modest little person, with much to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill

» He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.
- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

» Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?
- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

» He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
- Abraham Lincoln

» He is a self-made man and worships his creator.
- Irvin S. Cobb

» He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.
- Forrest Tucker

» He has Van Gogh's ear for music.
- Billy Wilder

» The trouble with a kitten is that it eventually becomes a cat.
- Ogden Nash

» I wish we were better strangers.
» I'll always cherish the original misconception I had of you.
- Unknown

I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
- Woody Allen

» I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves. - Ludwig Wittgenstein

» Many wealthy people are little more than janitors of their possessions. –
Frank Lloyd Wright

» We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time. - Vince Lombardi

» A narcissist is someone better looking than you are. - Gore Vidal

» When ideas fail, words come in very handy. - Goethe

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