Things you wish you could say at work

1. I can see your point, but I still think you’re full of shit.

2. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet
it’s hard to pronounce.

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

4. I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate
yourself in public.

5. I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn
to see it my way.

6. I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.

7. I’m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

8. I don’t work here. I’m a consultant.

9. It sounds like English, but I can’t understand a damn
word you’re saying.

10. Ahhhh .. I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.

11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was
young and stupid.

12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don’t give a damn.

14. I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions
I had about you.

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