Short One liners

Take my advice; I don't use it anyway.

A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!

He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.

Next time you wave, use all your fingers.

The only perfect science is hindsight.

A procrastinator's work is never done.

My favorite mythical creature? The honest politician.

Leftists are among the first to speak of their rights.

A penny saved is a Congressional spending oversight.

I like kids, but I don't think I could eat a whole one.

AIBOHPHOBIA - the fear of palindromes.

If puns were outlawed, only outlaws would have puns.

I was the next door kid's imaginary friend.

Even crime wouldn't pay if the government ran it.

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