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I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in
toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this
woman called in very upset because she caught her little
daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the
ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring
her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down, and at
the end of the conversation happened to mention that she
gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill
the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter
in to the ER right away.
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Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the
field decided to steal a life raft from one of the
747s. They were successful in getting it out of the
plant and home. When they took it for a float on the
Stilliguamish River, they were quite surprised by a coast
guard helicopter homing in on the emergency locator that
is activated when the raft is inflated. They are no longer
employed here.
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The instructor was demonstrating the wonders of static
electricity to his class at MIT. While holding a plastic
rod in one hand and a wool cloth in the other, he told the
class, "You can see that I get a large charge from rubbing
my rod..." That was pretty much the end of learning for
that day.
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I worked for a while at a Walmart store, selling
sporting goods. As an employee of Walmart you are
sometimes required to make storewide pages, e.g.,"I have
a customer in hardware who needs assistance at the paint
counter." One night a tentative female voice came over
the intercom system with the following message: "I have
a customer by the balls in toys who needs assistance."
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A police officer had a perfect hiding place for watching
for speeders. But one day, everyone was under the speed
limit, the officer found the problem: a 10 year old boy
was standing on the side of the road with a huge hand
painted sign which said "RADAR TRAP AHEAD." A little
more investigative work led the officer to the boy's
accomplice, another boy about 100 yards beyond the radar
trap with a sign reading "TIPS" and a bucket at his feet,
full of change.
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A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for
a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd
lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under
the carpet, was a bump. "No sense pulling up the entire
floor for one pack of smokes," he said to himself. He
proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the hump. As
he was cleaning up, the lady came in. "Here," she said,
handing him his pack of cigarettes. "I found them in the
hallway." "Now," she said, "if only I could find my
gerbil."
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