Worldly Ideas: The Dog Ate Your Homework And Better Excuses

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

The Dog Ate Your Homework And Better Excuses

by enrico

For everyone that has ever failed to complete homework, attend an important family event or arrived late for work - if you have used any of the following examples then you wouldn't have been believed. Despite being told repeatedly that 'honesty is the best policy' throughout my childhood, sometimes the truth is not going to keep you out of trouble.

Arriving late for work will irritate your boss and workmates, so be prepared to garner sympathy, pity or concern to distract from your tardiness. Honesty will not prevent a reprimand so construct a story with characters, setting and a narrative structure that would light up Hollywood. A simple 'woke up late' or 'traffic was bad' won't save you now so develop a catalogue of events that will both entertain the group and redeem yourself.

If you are late because there was a queue of cars at the petrol station, elaborate on this a little until it became a humorous anecdote. Exaggerate the old lady who couldn't remember her PIN or the guy who drove up to the pump like Lewis Hamilton only for his car to be too close to open his door. These small details will gain your story credibility while also making the boss laugh, hopefully distracting them enough to avoid any form of reprisal.

Poor attendance records at school, work or even birthday parties suggest that you lack enthusiasm for the subject. Unhappy workers are more likely to call in sick than those enjoying their work, so constantly abstaining from your duty will send the message that you don't want to be there. So, at the risk of sounding like a concerned parent, be careful how often you pull that sicky because it will be noticed.

So, you arrive late or bunk off work and make up a little story to gain your excuse some credibility. This may work for such a trivial matter as your livelihood, but how do you avoid attending an event or provide an adequate excuse for having not attended. Family events are difficult to get out of, a certain weight of expectation surrounds family-based gatherings with you running the risk of being labelled the black sheep of the family.

There are plenty of excuses out there, it 's just a learning game about which ones and when to use them. Different scenarios will require different solutions, and you may even have to attend some of these events to enable your excuses to be believed. Pick and choose which parties, meals, christenings or funerals that you could bear and make an appearance at these. Plan ahead and always be ready for surprise invitations.

Preparation is often the key for escaping the surprise invite to a child 's birthday party. Always have a few planned events on your calendar where you can regretfully 'clash' with the event. Hopefully, by the time the event has passed they will have forgotten why you didn't attend, or you may have to develop another hilarious anecdote about where you were.

As you get older, get married, have kids or move out of your parents' house - excuses become easier and easier. You have started a separate life, made new friends, new commitments and often gained a whole new family. This makes it far too easy to excuse yourself from so many invitations that you end up wishing that you went. Again, moderate your absences and don't miss out on appealing invites to parties that will actually be fun. Use your excuses for those events that sound worse than sticking pins in your eyes.

It may be a long time before you had to complete homework assignments, or you might still have to do them as part of your adult working-life. Either way, every time a deadline approaches there will be the same excuses from the same people that didn't quite finish it or their computer broke down.

Be aware that the person you will be handing your homework to has heard these excuses so many times before. The 'dog ate my homework' cliche is exactly that, a cliche, but it must've been used as a serious excuse in the past. Try not to use the most common excuses or excuses that won't gain you enough time to complete the assignment.

If you say that you forgot it, the teacher or your boss could send you home to get it or demand to see it the next day. With a long, difficult assignment, this could prove difficult and expose you. So, keep it believable and be sure to gain yourself adequate time to complete the assignment.

The real art to creating a believable excuse is the attention to detail. If you can convince yourself that the story is genuine, everyone else will be hanging on your every word. Remember all the details, create a narrative and watch as your absence or lateness is quickly forgotten. If all else fails, tell the truth and hope for the best... what 's the worst that can happen?