Question: Why is divorce so expensive?
Answer: Because it's worth it.
Ruby Alice walked up to the desk of a Bowling Green motel and signed the register with the letter "O." "Why'd you put that circle down?" asked the clerk. "Cause Ah can't write," replied the girl. "Why don't you sign with an 'X'?" asked the man. "Ah used to," she answered. "But when Ah got me a divorce, Ah took back mah maiden name!"
A ninety-year-old couple decide to get a divorce. They go to the judge and say, "Judge, we want a divorce." The judge says, "You've been married 70 years and now you want to get a divorce? Why did you wait so long?" The couple say in unison, "Well, we wanted to wait until the kids were dead."
A middle-aged Jewish guy is out to dinner with his wife to celebrate her fortieth birthday. He says, "So what would you like, Julie? A Jaguar? A sable coat? A diamond necklace?" She says, "Bernie, I want a divorce." He says, "I wasn't planning on spending that much."
I have this friend who has a real dilemma. His wife won't give him a divorce until she figures out a way of doing it without making him a happy man.
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