Posts
1) The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
2) I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
3) I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me
4) Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
5) I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
6) Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
7) WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
8) You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
9) Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings".
10) I got a gun for my wife, best trade I ever made.
11) So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute
12) Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
13) Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
14) To all you virgins, thanks for nothing.
15) I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
16) My kid had sex with your honor student.
17) Horn Broken... Watch For Finger.
18) I'm just driving this way to piss you off.
19) Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
20) If You Think I'm A Bitch, Wait Until You Meet My Mother.
21) I don't have to be dead to donate my organ.
22) I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather ...not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
23) God must love stupid people, he made so many.
24) The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
25) Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
26) It IS as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
27) So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time
28) This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me.
29) Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself.
30) I know what you're thinking, and you should be ashamed of yourself.
31) Elvis is dead, and I'm not feeling too good myself.
32) Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
33) Very funny, Scotty. Now beam up my clothes.
34) Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
35) Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
36) Welcome To Shit Creek-----Sorry, We're Out of Paddles
37) Beer----- The Reason I Get Up Each Afternoon
38) I Must Be a Proctologist Because I Work With Assholes All Day
39) I'm Out Of Bed And Dressed-----What More Do You Want?
40) Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult
41) If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over
[Seen Upside Down, On A Jeep]
42) Welcome to America...now speak English
43) If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you.
44) Don't like my driving? Then quit watching me.
45) Some people just don't know how to drive...I call these people "Everybody But Me,"
46) The proctologist called...they found your head.
47) Jesus loves you...but everyone else thinks you are an ass.
48) Read a fucking book!!
49) Back off or I'll flick boogers at you!
50) Jewish Driver: This car not only stops on a dime, but it picks it up too!!
51) Jesus loves us all, but he likes me best!
52) If you're riding my ass you'd better be pulling my hair!
Share and Enjoy!
