Famous People Quotes

The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously. - Hubert Humphrey

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives - Rita Rudner

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. - Maryon Pearson

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way. - Mark Twain

Experience is not what happens to a man. It is what a man does with what happens to him. - Aldous Huxley

If you want to live like a Republican, vote for a Democrat. - Harry S. Truman

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andy Rooney

Good judgement comes from experience. Experience often comes from bad judgement. - Rita Brown

An apple a day, if well aimed, keeps the doctor away. - P. G. Wodehouse

Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it. - Mark Twain

Whoever said, "It's not whether you win or lose that counts" probably lost. - Martina Navratilova

Don't trust nobody but your momma. And even then, look at her real good! - Bo Diddley

When I go to the beach, my grandchildren try to make words out of the veins in my legs. That's why I still take the pill; I don't want any more grandchildren. - Phyllis Diller

Whenever you have an efficient government, you have a dictatorship. - Harry S. Truman

In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is. - Jan L.A. van de Snepscheut

Don't look forward to the day you stop suffering, because when it comes, you'll know you're dead. - Tennessee Williams

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives - Sue Murphy

We all get heavier as we get older because there's a lot more information in our heads. - Vlade Divac

There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers. - Robert Orben

Happiness to a dog is what lies on the other side of the door. - Charleton Ogburn

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet every evening down at the bar. - Drew Carey

Silence is foolish if we are wise, but wise if we are foolish. - Charles Caleb Colton

Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up. - Thomas Edison

Sweat is the cologne of accomplishment. - Heywood Hale Brown

Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Afghanistan. - A. Whitney Brown

Only a mediocre person is always at his best. - W. Somerset Maugham

Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else. - Ogden Nash

In politics, sincerity is everything. Once you can fake that, you've got it made! - Groucho Marx

The most important trip you may take in life is meeting people halfway. - Henry Boye

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, but nobody thinks of complaining. - Jeff Raskin

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies. - George Carlin

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced. - James Baldwin

Ladies have come up with all these expressions to reassure men. "Oh, honey, it's not the size of the ship, it's the motion of the ocean." That may be true, but it takes a long time to get to England in a rowboat. - Jeff Foxworthy

Life is hard. After all, it kills you. - Katherine Hepburn

If drumsticks are for playing drums, you would think that breadsticks would be for playing bread, wouldn't you? "Would you like some breadsticks?" "No, thank you, I don't play bread. I play drums. Perhaps I'll have a drum roll." - George Carlin

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you were? - Satchel Paige

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. - Jim Carrey

Honest criticism is hard to take, especially when it comes from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger. - Franklin P. Jones

My dog is half pit bull, half poodle. It's not much of a watchdog, but it's a vicious gossip. - Craig Shoemaker

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