Insults from the Famous

There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure. -- Jack E. Leonard

There but for the grace of God, goes God. -- Winston Churchill

There goes the famous good time that was had by all. -- Bette Davis

They don't hardly make 'em like him any more - but just to be on the safe side, he should be castrated anyway. -- Hunter S. Thompson

Thou lumpish earth-vexing fustilarian. -- William Shakespeare

Thou mammering half-faced measle. -- William Shakespeare

Timid? As timid as a buzzsaw. -- George Ells (about Hedda Hopper)

To err is Truman. -- A popular joke in 1946

To those she did not like . . . she was a stiletto made of sugar. -- John Mason Brown (about Dorothy Parker)

Useless as a pulled tooth. -- Mary Roberts Rinehart

Wagner's music is better than it sounds. -- Mark Twain

We've been through so much together, and most of it was your fault. -- Ashleigh Brilliant

Well, I think we ought to let him hang there. Let him twist slowly, slowly in the wind. -- John Ehrlichman

What's on your mind? If you'll forgive the overstatement. -- Fred Allen

What has a tiny brain, a big mouth, and an opinion nobody cares about? You! -- from Murphy Brown

What you said hurt me very much. I cried all the way to the bank. -- Liberace

When I see a man of shallow understanding extravagantly clothed, I feel sorry - for the clothes. -- Josh Billings

When you go to the mind reader, do you get half price? -- David Letterman

While he was not dumber than an ox he was not any smarter either. -- James Thurber

While you remain at home your hair is at the hairdresser's; you take out your teeth at night and sleep tucked away in a hundred cosmetics boxes - even your face does not sleep with you. -- Martial, 1st Century AD (to a female friend)

Why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings? -- Milton Berle

Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum. -- P. G. Wodehouse

Why don't you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out? -- Groucho Marx

Why, this fellow don't know any more about politics than a pig knows about Sunday. -- Harry S Truman (about Dwight D. Eisenhower)

Writers are interesting people, but often mean and petty. -- Lillian Hellman

You're a good example of why some animals eat their young. -- Jim Samuels

You're a mouse studying to be a rat. -- Wilson Mizner

You're a parasite for sore eyes. -- Gregory Ratoff

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