Law of Probability

Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll have to pee.

Law of Gravity
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of Random Numbers
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

Law of the Alibi
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

Law of the Bath
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.

Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theater
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

The Starbucks Law
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy’s Law of Lockers
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Physical Surfaces
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.

Brown’s Law of Physical Appearance
If the shoe fits, it’s ugly.

Oliver’s Law of Public Speaking
A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson’s Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

Doctors’ Law
If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you’ll feel better. Don’t make an appointment and you’ll stay sick.

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A LITTLE GUN HISTORY

In 1929, the Soviet Union established gun control. From 1929 to 1953,
about 20 million dissidents, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up
and exterminated.
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In 1911, Turkey established gun control. From 1915 to 1917, 1.5 million
Armenians, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.

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In 1938, Germany established gun control. From 1939 to 1945, a total of 13
million Jews and others who were unable to defend themselves were rounded up
and exterminated.
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In 1935, China established gun control. From 1948 to 1952, 20 million
political dissidents, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and
exterminated
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In 1964, Guatemala established gun control. From 1964 to 1981, 100,000
Mayan Indians, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and
exterminated.
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In 1970, Uganda established gun control. From 1971 to 1979, 300,000
Christians, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.
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In 1956, Cambodia established gun control. From 1975 to 1977, one million
educated' people, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and
exterminated.
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Defenseless people rounded up and exterminated in the 20th Century because
of gun control: 56 million.
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It has now been 12 months since gun owners in Australia were forced by new
law to surrender 640,381 personal firearms to be destroyed by their own
Government, a program costing Australia taxpayers more than $500 million
dollars.


The first year results are now in:

List of 7 items:

Australia-wide, homicides are up 3.2 percent
Australia-wide, assaults are up 8.6 percent
Australia-wide, armed robberies are up 44 percent (yes, 44 percent)!

In the state of Victoria alone, homicides with firearms are now up 300
percent. Note that while the law-abiding citizens turned them in, the
criminals did not, and criminals still possess their guns!

While figures over the previous 25 years showed a steady decrease in armed
robbery with firearms, this has changed drastically upward in the past 12
months, since criminals now are guaranteed that their prey is unarmed.


There has also been a dramatic increase in break-ins and assaults of the
ELDERLY. Australian politicians are at a loss to explain how public safety
has decreased, after such monumental effort, and expense was expended in
successfully ridding Australian society of guns The Australian experience
and the other historical facts above prove it.


You won't see this datum on the US evening news, or hear politicians
disseminating this information.


Guns in the hands of honest citizens save lives and property and, yes,
gun-control laws adversely affect only the law-abiding citizens.


Take note my fellow Americans, before it's too late!


The next time someone talks in favor of gun control, please remind them of
this history lesson.


With guns, we are 'citizens'. Without them, we are 'subjects'.


During WWII the Japanese decided not to invade America because they knew
most Americans were ARMED!


If you value your freedom, Please spread this anti-gun control message to
all of your friends.


The purpose of fighting is to win. There is no possible victory in defense.
The sword is more important than the shield, and skill is more important
than either. The final weapon is the brain. All else is supplemental.


As John Steinbeck once said:


1. Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he'll
just kill you.


2. If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics stink.


3. I carry a gun because a cop is too heavy.


4. When seconds count, the cops are just minutes away.


5. A reporter did a human-interest piece on the Texas Rangers. The
reporter recognized the Colt Model 1911 the Ranger was carrying and asked
him 'Why do you carry a 45?' The Ranger responded, 'Because they don't make
a 46.'

6. An armed man will kill an unarmed man with monotonous regularity.


7. The old sheriff was attending an awards dinner when a lady commented on
his wearing his sidearm. 'Sheriff, I see you have your pistol. Are you
expecting trouble?' 'No Ma'am. If I were expecting trouble, I would have
brought my rifle.'

8. Beware the man who only has one gun. HE PROBABLY KNOWS HOW TO USE IT!!!



But wait, there's more!


I was once asked by a lady visiting if I had a gun in the house. I said I
did. She said 'Well I certainly hope it isn't loaded!' To which I said, 'Of
course it is loaded, can't work without bullets!' She then asked, 'Are you
that afraid of someone evil coming into your house?' My reply was, 'No, not
at all. I am not afraid of the house catching fire either, but I have fire
extinguishers around, and they are all loaded too.' To which I'll add,
having a gun in the house that isn't loaded is like having a car in the
garage without gas in the tank.


I'm a firm believer of the 2nd Amendment!

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